A few nights ago a bunch of us got into a debate on How- To
Avoid the dreaded friend zone. Mind you not escape but avoid. Why? Because few, if any, ever escape it once they enter it! That is the cold hard truth. So what do you do? Well you avoid entering the dreaded Friend Zone at all costs to begin with - duh!
We women agreed that we can get sex anywhere, any time and any way we want it. The problem the guys faced was that for them, women don’t want sex anywhere, any time and any way THEY want it. That is why men find themselves slipping into the dreaded Friend Zone more often than women do. Still, they all claimed to know a couple of girls who are continually being thrown into the Friend Zone. Wanting to take the mickey out of the guys we asked them to verbalize (or attempt to) their observation and analysis as to how women can become less of a support buddy and more of a fuck buddy...or rather a romantic interest. This is it (as verbatim as I remember)...
5. Know Your Role
"Do you have a penis? If the answer is no, then you aren’t one of the guys. So stop saying and thinking you are. And if you refuse to obey that rule and insist on wanting to be seen as one of the guys, then don’t cry when no guy wants to date you. Because think about it. You’re acting like a dude. We don’t want to date a dude. If we did, we would be gay. And being gay means we like penis, something you don’t have to offer us. Therefore, you acting like one of the guys is a lose-lose situation for you." ...
hmm ok insightful ;)
4. You Don’t Have To Be A Girly-Girl, But Be (Semi) Lady-Like
Guys like girls because we're different from them, thus making us interesting to them. We look different, talk different, walk different, think different, act different (or at least should, see #5) and smell different (waaay better than guys). We even pee different! Not only that, we have different body parts than them ;) THAT is the attraction. We bring something different to the table and have things to offer them that their buddies don't. "Learn to embrace that. Use it to your advantage. Sure it's fine and often a bonus if a girl shares similar interests with the boys, for example likes football. However, there still needs to be a separation, a divide. Something that sets you apart from my friend Scum...which by the way is a real friend of mine. And trust me, if you're a girl, you DO NOT want me comparing you to Scum in my mind. Do whatever you have to do, but don't allow yourself to be seen the same way Scum is seen." (
Capiche?)
"So easy on the swears. Try to refrain from constantly scratching your balls. And never, NEVER spit! Because a lady never spits. She swallows." (
Read that however you like)
3. Don't Be Overly Awesome
"Look, I hear you on the "I am woman. Hear me roar!" theme you got going on. The fact that you are a go-getter, power hungry, money making machine is sexy. So I'm not asking you to be less awesome than me or even to tone your awesomeness down some. I'm just asking that you don't rub your awesomeness in my face or compare your awesomeness to mine, especially if you're more awesome than me! If you're overly awesome, you'll make me feel insecure. And making me feel insecure and poorly about myself is no way for me to build up the confidence needed to ask you out. That is why you will be placed in the Friend Zone. Basically, try to keep your level of awesome in check." ....
intimidation in play
2. Let Me Know I'm Needed, Wanted and Appreciated
"Contrary to our hard outer He-Man-like shell, men have fragile egos. This is why we enjoy having our ego (
not to mention other naughty bits) stroked so much. It feels good to be loved. But it feels even better to be needed, wanted and appreciated. We like to know that we matter, especially to you. I need to serve a purpose in your life - something a little more significant and meaningful than lifting heavy furniture, hanging picture frames and squashing spiders. Understand that I don’t need you to just need me in your life. I want you to want me in your life as well. Show me that you want me and I’ll show you that I want you. Then appreciate everything I do for you, who I am and who I strive to be as I appreciate you in return. Can you feel the love? Let it come full circle to squeeze you and put that warm pink hue in your cheeks. Cozy, isn't it?" ...
I swear i didn't know if it was the booze speaking on this one but hey there it is!
1. FLIRT!
This should be a no brainer, but nevertheless, it's the #1 tip and trick to help avoid entering the dreaded Friend Zone! Guys are dumb. Yeah, I said it. "The girls we think like us, don't. And the girls that do like us, we are clueless about. That is how a girl can often be tossed in the Friend Zone because we either completely miss the signs or misread the signs...or you fail to give us any signs to read at all!" So FLIRT! Giggle, touch, smile, bat your lashes, say adorable things, flip your hair, straighten your skirt, ect. Whatever it is that you do, DO IT! Even the most oblivious guy is sure to pick up on that! Or so we hope.
Sigh...Nobody ever said finding love was simple. And nobody ever said life was fair or easy. Sometimes you can do everything right and drop all the clues in the world to someone, but yet they still don’t get it! Other times they simply don’t want to see the clues because they are not interested in seeing you as more than a friend. That’s hard on the heart, but we’ve all been there and you will make it out alive. Which takes me back to the same question I always tell my friends to ask themselves..."Why do I want someone that doesn't want me?"
Cheap Trick once wrote a song and the lyrics go like this...
I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm begging you to beg me.
Worst case scenario, stop playing games and tell the person how you feel. If you want more, ask for more. If they utter the awful line "I think we’re better off as friends," just accept it. There’s nothing you can do. Do not beg. Do not plead. Rest your case.
