Thursday, March 24, 2011

Stuffed Shirts In Suits...hardly!

"{1818 H Street} is a big, new, faceless rectangular building, of the sort that suddenly shrivels up your curiosity, and leaves you positively anxious not to know what happens inside... There is a frigid sense of future to the building -- that icy supra-national future when wastrels will not be welcomed and prodigals not easily forgiven... There is nothing escapist about the World Bank. It was born in solemnity, and it works with a deliberate purpose to a well-defined and scrupulously honoured set of rules.... Many of its staff members, who are nearly all men, are boring to a degree... They may be excited by the unfolding of history all around them, but do not often let it show." {Morris, The World Bank, 1963}



This is a great passage, written before half of Bank staff were born, but holds up suprisingly well 48 years later. And there are still those who criticize the World Bank for being nothing but a bunch of boring economists. This is a bit unfair. We also have plenty of boring engineers, procurement specialists, anthropologists, financial analysts, and accountants.

Are we boring? Consider the facts...

We (well the majority of us anyways) do essentially three things: emails, meetings, and travel. We spend more than half of our working hours composing, reading, ignoring, or deleting emails. The other half of the time is spent in tedious meetings where everybody feels obligated to say at least one thing (whether it is important or not) to make the meeting feel worthwhile. We indulge in creating powerpoint presentations featuring such revelations as "stakeholder participation is critical", "must strengthen institutions" and (my personal favourite), "there is no silver bullet!". Then we spend our lunch hours munching on boxed sandwich-cookie-apple combos and watching equally tedious powerpoints supplied by our colleagues.

We communicate poorly. Every sentence includes an acronym, which we don't bother to explain to outsiders or newcomers. We're fond of euphemisms: trips are "missions", agreements are "non-objections", and corruption is "rent-seeking". Our Staff Forum website has fallen totally silent since the Wolfowitz affair (was that all we had to talk about?). Any interesting conversations take place via Instant Messaging or hunched over our trays in the MC cafeteria, swapping secrets and gossip. We are all self-critical of our institution, which is a healthy thing, but this criticism must be kept quiet, which is not a healthy thing. Poking fun at ourselves is not in line with the noble pursuit of poverty reduction, and must be kept private, or left to the shadowy cowards over at Bank Swirled.

On mission, we work until late at night -- no time for fun. There is always one more email; the urge to replicate is paramount. Before leaving for DC, we draft an Aide Memoire, an antiseptic memento of our trip.

Our fashion sense -- and here I'm talking about the guys -- is rather sad. We favour dark suits with inconspicuous ties, without really knowing why. Women do better, to be sure, but most err on the conservative side, leaving the African pagnes and Indian saris at home. It takes an email from HR in June to tell us that it's now OK to convert to "casual dress", whereupon the more adventurous drop the tie...hehehe

So yes, it is easy to conclude that the Bank is rather boring.

But I confess there is a problem with this argument. Bank staff are truly intrepid. We work in dangerous places, falling sick with all sorts of interesting tropical diseases, and occasionally risking our lives. In jungles and slums, we see exotic and dismal places tourists would never get to (and when we do see touristic places, they inevitably seem a bit dull).

The happiest of us have lives outside work. Some have started NGOs for orphans and AIDS patients. We are accomplished actors and dancers and singers. There is some IFC guy with cancer, just back from skiing to the South Pole, for heaven's sake.

When required, staff can rise to truly remarkable levels. My two personal heros are former Staff Association Chairs, who faced off against their respective presidents, at the risk of their careers and immense cost to their families, and prevailed for the benefit of us all.

In that light, how can such a collection of interesting individuals be so boring collectively? Is the Bank less than the sum of its staff?

What do you think?






Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Just Another Doormat

My blood pressure sky rocketed earlier today and I lost it in a rant on twitter, at the same time firing off a few selected text messages, for good or bad to 3 choice individuals.

I don't suffer fools easily. Those close enough to me know this. And the scenario is worse still for those who think that they can make me out to be the fool. I may be laid back in my attitutude to life and a lot of other things but trust me when I say that my eyes aren't closed.

So what set it off?  A text message about me sent accidentally to me. I"ve kept quiet about what I have seen and heard going on. Everyone is entitled to have their own opinions about another person and I appreciate that. Now when you go about propogating false rumors and creating distrust, this is when I have an issue.

To the first person I sent a message to, also the cause of my angst, this is what i have to say to you...I don't hate you, I just hope you get your next period in a shark tank! You've been wanting to do the Baltimore aquarium dive, here let me volunteer and sign you up! And now you know that I know. Hope you're happy coz u've effectively killed our friendship.

To the good Dr. I don't know what the hell is your problem but it isn't me. I'm always joking with you & we've been laughing over said topic for weeks on end and yesterday u decided to pull a doozy and tweet that crap? I effin use lists on twitter to keep up with my TL. What you claimed to be within mins was 2 hours later! Go check my list, its open for public consumption anyways. Its not just this however. Its the convo the previous day too. You have a problem with me, take it up with me. I've had your back thru all this crap, the least u can do is have mine & stop hammering me as you promised u would!

And lastly to person no.3. You fucking can't help me out coz u say you're tight but I see on FB that you are taking off for SA for two weeks and I also hear that you've booked tickets for UK/DC in dec. Since when was it OK for me to shoulder the entire burden. I'm not churning out the moola by bucket loads here, in fact i'm struggling! Howz that for news?

You know what?  What-the-fuck-ever! After all this is Cherie and she's just a fucking dorrmat...

Monday, March 14, 2011

Froggy, the Prince

Been a while since I last blogged but I thought my urban encounter with a frog would be a good come back post :)

One Friday evening not too long ago, just before taking off from the Bank for the weekend - at least so I thought - I made a quick stop to the bathroom where my eye caught a strange pebble laying on the wet floor.


Upon closer inspection it turned out the pebble was in fact a little bright green frog. He was sitting there quietly but keeping a close watch on everything around him.

Why do these things happen on a Friday evening? Just when you want to go home to prepare for a dinner with friends.

You cannot just leave the fellow there, because in a few hours the cleaning team will probably apply measures too harsh for Yupie (name given to froggy). Given the wet floor, you consider if this leakage of Bank resources with such serious consequences shouldn’t be immediately reported to the VP of INT (Institutional Integrity). But, you know, he will then invite you for a coffee and after that nothing ever happens. Calling GSD (General Services Dept) is also not an option because they should have addressed the leakage days ago and from experience you know that they will just put a plastic bag over the problem for a few weeks, as they did last year, apparently hoping the problem will go away by itself. Calling Security and informing them about the incident just one floor directly below the President’s offices would mean a huge embarrassment for the elite corps. How could they have allowed such a visitor into the building without a pass? So, for sure they would just deny the problem.

So what do you do if no one will believe you or address your problem? At least you want to have a witness, so you take a colleague and a camera to the bathroom. We did. But then? Then what?

You can’t take him outside in the cold and drop him in the snow or the freezing waters of Rock Creek. Therefore, we considered dropping him in the pond in MC-C2. Although that blue sterile pond could use some flora and fauna, its water is probably chlorinated. Not good for our fellow. So, we went to the nearby offices of ED James Hagan. Maybe our froggy escaped from there. You can imagine the expressions on the faces of his staff, when I asked them if anyone there had a pet frog in the office.

So in the end we decided with a few colleagues (thanks Lori and Reema!) to build a little aquarium for the guy to help him at least through the weekend. A plastic box, the size of those at the salad bar, helped us out. With some room temperature water from the fountain, some leftover salad, a few cookie crumbles and a little soapstone hippo from Zimbabwe we built together a nice new home…. so we thought.

As soon as Yupie jumped out of the coffee cup into the aquarium, he desperately swam to get out of the water and tried to stick to the slippery wall of his new home. He clearly didn't like the water. Only then we realized that his claws were not webbed and that he must be a tree frog. (It is embarrassing but I must admit: too many Bank projects are being prepared without proper appraisal!) So we removed most of the water and then left him with a DO NOT TOUCH sticker in my office.

Back home, I found out that our fellow is probably an American Tree Frog, common in the southern United States. He likes a somewhat moist terrarium and eats mosquitoes, moths, and crickets, in summary anything that bugs him (*wink*). That’s what he got.

I must say, in the process I started liking the little fellow a lot. He is so dapper. I admire his courage, his tenacity, his adventurous nature. What brought Yupie all the way to the 11th floor of the World Bank, downtown DC? What is his mission? What does he want to tell us? Is he a messenger of climate change? A whistle blower of leakage? Or does he want to encourage us to always think out-of-the-box? He certainly tried to jump out of it! I thank him for choosing us and nominate him to become the mascot of HRSVP if not the whole Bank!

ps. major part of this post is written tongue-in-cheek esp when 'teasing' the practices of the WB