Too Tight For My Own Good

Classic, high-cut, hipster, bikini, boyshorts, tanga, thong, g-string...oh my the options!

And this is my biggest decision each morning for the past week plus...what kinda panties do I wear today?...

"what the fuck is she on about now!" u may be asking. OK, OK let me back up just a tad bit and explain...hehehe

I woke up one fine day and found that I could not move and with every action (ie getting out of bed) I was in excruciating pain...I'd injured my back. Yup, I'll have to agree with you,  health wise 2010 ain't going too swell for me.  In order for me to be allowed back out into the big bad world, I've to visit my Chiropractor everyday for therapy :-/ The thing is that the pain is concentrated in my right hip & butt. Which means I'm having to expose my tush for the good doctor to work on :-p

So back to my daily dilemma...classic, high-cut, hipster, bikini, boyshorts, tanga, thong, g-string...

OH before i forget, let me regale u with a story which i classify under "Can only happen to Cherie"...

I'm lying face down on the therapy bed in mega pain after the Doc had put me thru the various exercise motions, traction completed, infrared therapy completed and it was time for a massage before i could put my pants back on and leave. The following conversation takes place while he's massaging my derriere:

"You're muscle here is very tight. What type of exercise do you do? U're very tight and hard. Most times that would be great but damn if u're not tight. You need to stop building muscle here"

I'm attacked by a fit of giggles and am glad that my face is in a pillow. Needless to say I was embarrassed beyond belief but hey I'm glad that i have a tight butt rather than one than jiggles, i guess...lmao*

Checkin in a month later...

OK so about a month ago I listed the 20 things i'd like to accomplish before my next b'day in June 2011. Alright then, where do I stand in terms of checking them off...let's take a look and see...

1. Visit 5 new cities in the US  - Memphis, Gaitlinburg/Smokies (although I visited a number of new cities during my recent roadtrip, I'll add a qualifier here as having been in a 'new' city for at least 2 nights)

2. Go up in a hot air balloon - tickets are booked & paid up, now to schedule an actual ride

3. Visit 5 Smithsonian Museums in Washington, D.C

4. Visit a renaissance fair - planning phase

5. Eat one thing which I find utterly distasteful

6. Take a ride on the highest roller coaster in any amusement park I find myself at

7. Attend a broadway musical in NYC

8. Learn to play Poker well enough to hit the tables in Atlanta

9. Visit at minimum 3 new countries

10. Publish one blog entry per week  - definitely on track...check it out here

11. Live through one of mother nature's little quirks - earthquake - done

12. Skydive - planning phase

13. Ride a mechanical bull - done

14. Spend three months getting my body into optimum shape - have hit the gym everyday for the past 2 weeks

15. Get passionate about a cause and spend time helping it, instead of just thinking about it.

16. Read 20 books  - completed the 3 below

17. Send a message in a bottle

18. Write a fan letter to my all-time favorite hero/heroine

19. Sleep under the stars

20. Write my will 

So what do you think? Am I on track or too slow? Do I need to pick up my game??

Darfur In My Crack

Thanks to Rob Grilly, I am no longer living in blissful ignorance of the existance of the Save Darfur thong.

It was a happy life, one untrobled with questions like: "Really? This is how we signal our support for the victims of mass astrocities? By pasting their forlorn children's faces on our crotches?" But that is all over now.

My only comfort is that now you're all suffering along with me! :))

Why? Tell me WHY??

As you may have heard, most of Pakistan is currently underwater. Approximately 20 million people have been affected by the floods, which have been going on for three weeks now. 1600 have died and millions have been displaced from their homes.

Despite the epic scale of the disaster, the response has been slow. As Laura Freschi reports over at Aid Watch (citing an article from The Chronicle of Philanthropy) eleven U.S.-based charities say that they have received only $5 million in donations for the victims of the flood. Contrast this with the $560 million raised in the 2 1/2 weeks following the earthquake in Haiti in January and you might find yourself wondering "what gives?" So I say to you "what gives?" Why the slow / small response?

Is it because:

A. It owuld be disrespectful to the victims of 9/11
B. We don't take out our checkbooks until the death toll tops 5000, thank you very much?
C. Donating to water-related disasters is soooo 2004?
D. If we don't contribute, then Pakistan will be forced to rely on India's assistance and then they'll send India a thank you fruit basket and it will be the start of a beautiful friendship?
E. Wait, what? There are floods in Pakistan? Shouldn't this be on the news or something?

OK seriously enough of jesting around, I really do wanna know why...

Friendship vs Romantic Breakups: Why does it hurt so?

A couple of friends over the past few months have come to me upset and in tears over a break up with their best friend. I've sat with these same friends during times when they've broken up with their boyfriends/girlfriends and honestly their reactions got me thinking...Why is being left by your best friend more painful than being dumped by your boyfriend/girlfriend/lover?

Boyfriends/Girlfriends tend  to come and go as the years go by. As we grow older and our needs change, branch out into our careers and really begin to live our lives, the significant other get different. The dates change from drive-in movies to upscale restaurants, from sodas at the skating rink to cocktails at the club. Only one thing never changes: when the relationship inevitably ends, you call your best friend (i'm not going to equate best friend here as a girlfriend because my best friend is a guy) and have a  good cry.

It is our best friends who help us eventually laugh about the experience, who help us point out all the many little faults in our ex, and who invariably point out "s/he wasn't good enough for you, anyway." Having someone to call at 3am when you're horribly post-break up, standing in the kitchen shovelling french vanilla ice-cream in your mouth, who will tell you quiet honestly that you're beautiful, wonderful, and too great for that loser is the best pick-me-up of all.

So...what do you do when you and your best friend end up breaking up?

No relationship is ever perfect, and in life there are no guarantees that anything will be able to stand the test of time. But there is rarely anything more heart-breaking than losing a very close friend. It is our friends we trust with our darkest secrets, our fears and ideas and dreams. Boyfriends/girlfriends/lovers do not get as close to us as best friends do, not without some serious years invested into the relationship. And it is our friends we fall back on when our romantic relationships fail, our friends who will hold our hands at a parent's funeral and show up in the middle of the night when someone has broken into the car outside.

Attempting a romantic relationship without having a best friend to talk to is like walking a tightrope without a net: there is no emotional support to cushion us if and when we fall. And when there is no romantic relationship to distract us, life can be very lonely going to the movies and out to dinner by yourself. In losing your best firend you lose your closest confidant and closest link to unconditional love. Because, admit it, we have let our best friends see us at our worst - and that's the kind of thing you just don't want to share with a boyfriend/girfriend/lover.

But even friendship is not foolproof, and even the best of all best friends can go their own way. People grow and change, and the closest of friends do drift apart. It can be more painful to lose a best friend than to lose a lover; often, the best friend has been around much longer. So when you lose the one who is closest to you, it can break your heart wide open. Romantic relationships aren't the only relationships that can fall completely apart and seem to halfway destroy us.

We will often go through lovers much more quickly than we will friends, handbags and sometimes even cartons of milk. That's why our relationships always seem so new and fresh and exciting. Does the saying "best not to put all our eggs in one basket" apply here? Do we depend so much on our best friends that we can almost put a strangle-hold on them?

It's true, being left by a best friend is usually more painful than being left by a lover.

Awakening the Gypsy Spirit

Packed my bags, packed the car and headed out on the road without a destination. I only knew I had to get out of DC for a bit. I felt alive and happy like a kid in a candy store with so many choices.

I love the mountains so that was the direction in which I steered my car...to the Shenandoah's  (cue John Denver's Country Roads) I stopped at this really cool diner called the Pink Cadillac and it was there that I read about it being Elvis Presley week (Aug 10-15). Guess where I was heading? My no-destination roadtrip now had a destination...

Memphis, Tennessee

So with my trusted GPS, radar dectector (saved me from numerous tickets), AAA membership and Choice Hotels membership, I was off criss-crossing my way to Memphis. I've never attempted a roadtrip like this before. New York was the furthest I'd been. It turned out to be an awesome spur of the moment decision.

In my 8 day roadtrip I've driven 3,800km, 'touched' 6 states, visited 8 cities, participated in a whole lotta activities AND saw Rod Stewart,

I pushed and challenged myself on some of my limits and in turn learned new things about about myself.  I fought my fear of heights & claustrophobia by ziplining & zorbing down the Smokey Mountains. And also found peace and satisfaction while hiking and immersing myself in some of the country's history.

I'd always wanted to visit Graceland and I finally did. Some of the other highlights was a cruise on the Mississippi River on a paddlewheeler, a peek into the workings at Jack Daniel's distillery, an up close and personal encounter with Smokey the Bear, dinner at Bubba Gump, trying to find my way out of  a Mirror Maze, Beale Street at midnight ;o) and the Backbeat Mojo tour

Now that I've had a taste of a true roadtrip I'm hankering to get on the road again (I've not even been home 24hrs!) And that my dears, is how the seed of a coast to coast roadtrip has been sown :))

The Brazilian That Went South!

(Finally getting around to finishing up entries i've had sitting in my drafts for yonks. Pressure is on with the weekly blog posts on my list :D)


...


Time for my three-weekly wax appointment with LiLi. Lili is from Iran and does a brazilian wax better than anyone else on the planet. As soon as I walk in to the salon, a wide smile cracks up her face and her brown eyes twinkle as usual. 

"Nice to see you, despite all the pain you'll be inflicting on me," I tell her as she puts her arm around me and leads me off to the private SPA rooms at the back. 
"Naaawwwww, now don't be like that you big baby," she giggles, "I scream for you, OK."

She does this. It's quite amusing. She'll tear a wax strip off and then screams with me. Every time I flinch, she tuts and shakes her head at me, and if I scream she does as well. But because I've been a good girl and kept my appointments, maintenance work is surprisingly painless. Well, not painless, but not as bad as it could be. Come on, having your lady parts waxed is never going to be painless, but there are degrees of pain and this I can just about handle. 

"OK, now I clean the bum," Lili exclaims and slaps me on the thigh as I'm lying there legs akimbo.
"What?!"
"I see hair, I have to clean them!"
"Clean them?" I ask, bewildered and add "and I can assure you that my bottom is quite clean, thank you very much, you mad woman. I am NOT a hairy chick!"
"I mean clean the HAIR, take it off, we don't want any hair, you want to be monkey?" she almost shouts and looks insulted, then slaps me again. "Legs up!" she commands me and I obey. "Put your hands here and pull apart, yes, good, perfect. Now pain," she informs me and more hot wax is spread on to my most sensitive areas.

Yep, this is where dignity goes to die, right here in Lili's SPA room is where self respect meets its untimely demise, and it is here that I am lying with my legs in the air and spreading my butt cheeks for her. 

After a little glimpse of what hell might be like, I am once again smooth as a baby in all the right places and Lili looks pleased. 

"Ah, yes, perfect!" she announces and stares at her handiwork.

I shoot her an evil glance and cover up.

"Evil bitch," I tell her and giggle.
"Better I see hairy bum than boyfriend."
"I do not have a hairy bum!" I yell, outraged.
"Everyone's hairy. I help. Now it's good. I see you in three weeks, big baby."

I sigh as she gives me a hug before taking me back into the main part of the salon where I pay $60 for the pain and humiliation I have just endured. 

Cell Phones Trumps Toilets

I saw this thanks to Bill Easterly's blog at NYU's Development Reseach Institute - Aidwatch. Puts some things in perspective. So - what's the market transformation for toilets?


India has more cell phones than toilets


Far more people in India have access to a mobile phone than to a toilet, according to a UN study on how to improve sanitation levels globally.

India's mobile subscribers totalled 563.73 million at the last count, enough to serve nearly half of the country's 1.2 billion population. But just 366 million people -- around a third of the population -- had access to proper sanitation in 2008, said the study published by the United Nations University, a UN think-tank.

"It is a tragic irony to think in India, a country now wealthy enough that roughly half of the people own phones," so many people "cannot afford the basic necessity and dignity of a toilet," said UN University director Zafar Adeel. Adeel heads the UN University's Institute for Water, Environment and Health, based in the Canadian city of Hamilton, which prepared the report.

Worldwide, an estimated 358 billion dollars is needed between now and 2015 to achieve the UN Millennium Development Goal (MDG) of halving the proportion of people with inadequate sanitation from 2000 levels.

Proper sanitation "could do more to save lives, especially those of young people, improve health and help pull India and other countries in similar circumstances out of poverty than any alternative investment," Adeel said.

Poor sanitation is a major contributor to water-borne diseases, which in the past three years alone killed an estimated 4.5 million children under the age of five worldwide, according to the study. The report gave a rough cost of 300 dollars to build a toilet, including labour, materials and advice. The world could expect a return of up to 34 dollars for every dollar spent on sanitation through improved productivity and reduced poverty and health costs, said Adeel. He said improving sanitation was "an economic and humanitarian opportunity of historic proportions."


Intriguing and thought provoking...think about it...are we placing our priorities where it is needed? Is it an issue of the greater public or the government needing to be educated? Whatever it is, for now we will continue seeing folks peeing on the streets while talking on their cell phones while we wait on perspectives & priorities to shift into place...smh

Dishing Up The Action

I'm going to be hitting the big 4-0 in a year's time (yes i divulged my age, so...?) and as I did just before I turned 30, I find myself going through this whole big introspection of where I am in life...have I meet the mark or am I far behind...yada, yada, yada...

I've spent a fair bit of time thinking about my bucket list (No thanks to the movie, pfft!) and I've decided to tweak it a little to the top 20 things I would like to accomplish before June 2011 in no particular order...

1. Visit 5 new cities in the US 
2. Go up in a hot air balloon 
3. Visit 5 Smithsonian Museums in Washington, D.C 
4. Visit a renaissance fair
5. Eat one thing which I find utterly distasteful
6. Take a ride on the highest roller coaster in any amusement park I find myself at 
7. Attend a broadway musical in NYC
8. Learn to play Poker well enough to hit the tables in Atlanta
9. Visit at minimum 3 new countries 
10. Publish one blog entry per week (oh-o right now i'm 3 posts in areas)
11. Live through one of mother nature's little quirks (check ...ok so i'm cheating but it is kinda cool to list)
12. Skydive 
13. Ride a mechanical bull. 
14. Spend three months getting my body into optimum shape. 
15. Get passionate about a cause and spend time helping it, instead of just thinking about it. 
16. Read 20 books 
17. Send a message in a bottle 
18. Write a fan letter to my all-time favorite hero/heroine 
19. Sleep under the stars
20. Write my will 

Why am I posting this for all and sundry? Coz this way i know ya'll will hold me to it and check-in on my progress. I'm done with the coasting, it's time to act! 

A Freight Train? Thunder? 'Holy Cow...earthquake'

Apparently I lived through an earthquake this morning. Hmm, guess I can strike that off my bucket list and proudly call myself a quake survivor! (insert sarcasm) :p


So what do we know of this, other than for Mother Earth telling us to quit playing with her home? It hit at 5.04am eastern time with a magnitude (what happened to using the Richter scale for seismic measurements?) of 3.6 and the epicenter was in Germantown about 10miles from where I live.


Right now we can divide folks into two categories: 1. Those that felt the quake and 2. Those that slept right through it (and judging from what i've read, most fall into this category, LOL*) 


Me? Need you ask? Hell yea I felt it BUT rather than thinking it was an earthquake I actually thot is was the effects of my nite out and only getting to bed at 3am. Oops! 


OK so i promptly went back to sleep and as i always do these days upon waking up I check twitter (judge me not) and lo and behold it was not the 100 little men doing the hangover jig in my head, IT WAS AN EARTHQUAKE!


I got a kick out of some of the tweets on #dcquake and i share some with u....

• The DC earthquake wouldn't have happened if my NASA friends didn't punch rockets through atmosphere. Like BPspill in reverse.

• So, the women of DC aren't scantily-clad enough for a Big One? Come on, ladies, kick it up a notch! Let's get to at LEAST 4.5

• West End Bistro offers Aftershock Cocktail, $3.60 in honor of magnitude. Californians have to be laughing at us weak Washingtonians

• Earthquakes are actually a lot like politics - great reminders that there's really no such thing as solid ground.

• Between the earthquake and the hot weather, today is "Quake and Bake" day in Maryland.

• Wait, that was an earthquake this morning? I thought it was just a car with some awesome bass driving down the street

• In fact that quake in Gaithersburg wasn't even an earthquake. It was more like an earthfart.

• Apologies for the earthquake this morning. Wife and I will try to tone it down a bit next time

• Two ex-boyfriends texted me after DC earthquake, asking who I was with and what I was doing

• Hey DC, Haiti and Chile just called, told you to shut the fuck about this tiny Earthquake & to send aid to them.

In summary, 2010 in Washington DC has given: Record snow fall. Record heat wave. Today's first quake since 1935. What's next? A Hurricane?? Bring It On baybeh :))

The Cougar Effect

Got a tweet in my timeline from Craig Melvin which said "Researchers call it the "Cougar Effect."? Can a woman's taste in men affect how long she lives?? Maybe so!? Find out on News4 at 11." Being the Curious George(tte) that I am, I decided to rearrange my Sat eve plans and stick around for the 11pm news before heading out.


Hahahahahahahhahaha (thot i'd get that laugh outta way)


Results: Women who date younger men (Cougars) are likely to have a shorter life span than women who date and/or are with older men. Apparently this is because of the stress which the cougar feels from going against the norm. This is according to research done in Germany. However when men date younger women, studies show their life expectancy is longer...hmmm i wonder why...lol 


My question: If you've made the decision to date a younger man why stress over it? Why bother what others think? Hey if you're able to attract and hold onto a younger man, kudos to you! Quit living for society and stressing to the point of reducing your life expectancy. 


Go get your game on!

Spouse - Sex = Infidelity. Really?

If only it was possible to reach thru the radio and smack the woman who had called in. Aarrggghhhhhh! Her quote and let me give it to you verbatim .. "If the wife wasn't giving it to her husband then yea there is no wrong in him looking for it elsewhere" And she goes on to liken it to being the same as if the wife was not cooking at home then it was fine to go eat elsewhere. Which planet did she drop out of and how in blazes to do you compare eating out at a restaurant and cheating ?!?


Am I fuming? If only you could see the smoke coming out of my ears. What brought this all on? The always engaging DJ who asked his listeners for their opinion on what Silda Spitzer had said (another verbatim quote) "On some level, this is my fault. the wife is supposed to take care of the sex. This is my failing. I wasn't adequate". Good gawd woman!
Her husband, Eliot Spitzer (at that time) the Governor of New York was caught in a scandal over his involvement in a sex ring. I commend her for having stood by him in public while the saga played out up to the point of him resigning from office. It was initially believed that Silda took the stance she did because she was not aware of the extent of the government's investigation that led to the disclosure of Eliot's trysts. A lot of people thought her mad, including myself, for having stuck with him through the so very public humiliation. I'd have divorced the sob even before he could have said "I'm sorry. It really didn't mean anything!"

What baffles me even more is her accepting the blame for his behavior. She's a high-powered woman herself. A former corporate lawyer turned philanthropist. I'm not your bra burning feminist, but hell, I'm most certainly not from the school where I think woman are solely placed on earth to take care of their spouses needs either. And should we fail them it is only right and fair that they seek it else where. Oh puh-liz! This is not the fifties any more.

A long fight has been fought to get away from such molds. So when up-standing women like Silda Spitzer, and even the lady on the radio show, say what they say it annoys me to no end. Each and every adult is responsible for his and her decision especially when it comes to cheating. In this case, Eliot Spitzer was and is an arse. She should have never apologized for being herself. No matter what she would have or could have done is moot; he knew whom he had married and to whom he owed fealty and respect. Guys like him will cheat because that's what they do regardless of how the wife treats him. His ego-trip is power and the opportunity to play the all-powerful male hunter. If there were any justice in her world, he would be apologizing to her for the rest of his days. But hey if Silda Spitzer wants to remain with him so be it, who are we to judge her. But I hope that for her sake she stays because she feels that there is hope and repentance on his part (i have my doubts esp when it is known that he spent $100K on prostitutes over a 2 yr span) and not because she feels guilty she was not much of a wife for not putting it out for him!

As for my women readers who do feel this way, please re-examine your notions. Your spouse cheating on you, is a reflection of himself and most certainly not you.

No Phone Zone

Was I dreaming or did I really see an electronic signboard reading "No Phone Zone" ? My first thought was that OK they made Clara Barton Parkway a no phone zone but then thinking just a little more about it, it didn't make sense. You can't use your cellphone in any case unless its handsfree in DC...hmmmm

One person - Oprah Winfrey.

So this woman doesn't have quite enough power to create a national holiday, and I hope she never will, but some time back she declared April 30th the first national "No Phone Zone" Day and apparently several government agencies are backing the event. The talk show Queen has been advocating against distracted driving (defined as taking your eyes off the road, taking your hands off the wheel or taking your mind off of what you are doing). She began a No Phone Zone pledge which basically one signs and promises not to text or use hand-held phones while driving. What is even more interesting is that 200,000 people have taken the pledge :)

Check this out, research has found that talking on a cell phone while driving quadruples your risk of an accident. Texting (or sending email) on a  phone increases the risk eight times. The dangerous distraction is equivalent to having a blood alcohol level of 0.08 - the definition of drunk driving. Yikes!

Million dollar question now and be honest with yourself. Do you indulge in distracted driving? I do and right about now am feeling a tad bit guilty about it. So I'm signing the pledge and observing Apr 30th. For those interested here is the link to the pledge...think about it...No Phone Zone Pledge

Cheering on Monday

Come sunday evening I'm always stoked to see the number of statuses on monday blues. So i'm dedicating this post to the underdog, Monday :)

C'mon just think about it. Everyday of the week has some good conoctation to it but monday...

Tuesday - it's like a thank god it's friday only difference is that it's said "thank god it's tuesday, means monday is over with already!"
Wednesday - "yeah! it's mid week"
Thursday - "just another day before the weekend." A friend told me over the weekend that Thursdays are the new Fridays...hhmmm (but if you work for orgs like mine which practice alternate work schedules, Thursday evenings could very well be the start of your 3 day weekend)
Friday - "TGIF!" (one can literally hear the bells and whistles going off, need i say more?)

So coming back to good 'ole Monday.

Granted it's bliss not to have to fight traffic those two days of the week and yes, for whatever reason traffic is its worse on monday mornings. (I do believe this is a world wide phenomenon.) And yes it's also nice not to hit the snooze button several times over fighting for that extra few mins of sleep at 6am. But once you're up Monday morning, having your first cup of coffee and taking in the headlines for the day, driving into work and at the same time planning your day and possibly your week, doesn't it not make you feel much more rested and alive? Think about it. Give it a minutes thought.

It is said that there are only two kinds of people in the world - there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

Don't forget one seventh of your life is spent on monday. Kinda funky when you think of it that way eh?

Happy Monday, peeps!

That's Just Perfect

I just read about Megan Fox's clubbed thumb. Awesome.

And I already knew about Tina Fey's scar. Fabulous.

These women make no excuses or attempts to hide their flaws. In fact, they barely acknowledge them.

I'm scarred, too.

No, not mentally. Although, God knows that's the truth. I'm referring to my physical scar. Can you see it?

That’s right. On my right upper arm. It happened about two and a half years ago. I'd gone hiking at Mt. Ophir in Malaysia during a vacation.  I'd made it to the top and decided that instead of retracing my steps back down, I'd be a little more adventurous and walk along side the waterfall. I stopped momentarily to take in the view when a gush of water knocked me off my feet and down. I was lucky I got away with just my humerus (shouldn't the funny bone be named as such instead ?!?) broken. Which according to the Doc's is the hardest bone to break...woohoo give it up for me now! ;0)

The result was a trip to the emergency room; insertion of a titanium plate, 6 screws and plenty of stitches for me. Unfortunately a keloid formed over the skin healed injury.

For all the different levels of angst and insecurity I've felt over the years, I’m surprisingly unaffected by the scar. I’ve had lots of people tell me that I should have it removed one way or another but really, what for? Like my tattoos, it has served as a great conversation starter.  People are intrigued by the scar and the story behind it.
I actually think it makes me a little more interesting.

But then, I'm the one attracted to the guy with the crooked smile or the funky cowlick in his hair. And I think the woman with the space between her teeth or the oddly placed mole is beautiful in such a unique way.

Let's face it. Perfection is overrated.

And more than a little boring. So, I'll keep my scar.

And we'll be just fine.

Beauty Secret Tip....

What I’m about to share with you today may scar your psyche for life.

So please don’t say that I didn’t warn you and then tell me how GROSS this is.

Many years ago, a rare and exotic beauty secret was revealed about how applying Preparation H Hemorrhoid Ointment on the face, could temporarily reduce the appearance of wrinkles and puffiness around the eyes.

My fascination on this 'miracle' stemmed from a conversation I'd had with a friend, Farrash. Apparently, because Preparation H shrinks rectal wrinkles, someone in their infinite wisdom figured out it could also shrink facial wrinkles.

Who knew?

But what I would like to know is who actually discovered this?

Who was the first person to go, “Gee…I think because I just finished putting this ointment on my ass, let me see if it does something for my crows feet?”

I recently read an article online claiming that supermodels swear by hemorrhoid cream to maintain taught and youthful-looking eyes.

Here’s part of the article:

The active ingredient in Preparation H phenylephrine, is believed to tighten skin by temporarily constricting blood vessels and shrinking it’s tissue. Please note: This is not recommended for those with sensitive skin, as it can irritate the gentle thin tissue around the eyes.

Well…I guess that only leaves elephants and alligators.

Ok, listen…I’m as vain as the next woman, and I am willing to try just about anything, including pasteurized bumble bee sperm to reduce the appearance of my 38 year old eye wrinkles.

But there’s no way in HELL I would put an ointment that was intended for my ass, on my face.

I mean, I like my ass…don’t get me wrong, but I like my face much more.

And never the two shall meet.

Thursday's Facts

I thought you'd get a kick (as I did) outta reading some of the 'unknown' facts about semen from the illustration below...

Comments? Thoughts? Here are some of mine... 

1. Amazed that the distance sperm can travel has actually been measured....AND that there is a world record. Was there a jack off held to determine the record?

2. Dear God, Grandma was right about getting pregnant from the toilet seat ;o)

3. Nice info about calories though, I do wonder would the traditional 3 mins of sex work that off????

4.  and returning once again to the distance thingy...18 FEET!!??!! If he was inside a woman at the time, she would have to blow her nose.

*HAPPY THURSDAY*

An International Joke?

Main Entry: tol·er·ance 

Pronunciation: \ˈtä-lə-rən(t)s, ˈtäl-rən(t)s\

Function: noun

Date: 15th century

1 : capacity to endure pain or hardship : endurance, fortitude, stamina
2 a : sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one's own b :the act of allowing something : toleration
3 : the allowable deviation from a standard; especially : the range of variation permitted in maintaining a specified dimension in machining a piece

Main Entry: ¹re·spect 

Pronunciation: \ri-ˈspekt\

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English, from Latin respectus, literally, act of looking back, fromrespicere to look back, regard, from re- + specere to look — more at spy

Date: 14th century

1 : a relation or reference to a particular thing or situation 
2 : an act of giving particular attention : consideration
3 a : high or special regard : esteem b : the quality or state of being esteemed c plural :expressions of respect or deference s>

"You're Indian!"... "Sorry, no but I'm Malaysian".... 

"You don't look or sound like a Malaysian" ... "Hmm, ok, tell me what does a Malaysian look and sound like? And please don't forget that we are made up for 3 main races. So go ahead then, tell me. I'd love to be pigeon holed" 

....these were my fighting words and the stance I took at one point.  I'd always been proud of my nationality and the country I hail from until recently. Why? Because RESPECT & TOLERANCE seems to have flown out the window!

I look back to when I was growing up and my best friends were of all races. there was 7 of us in our clique and we covered all basis, in race...indian, chinese, malay, kadazan & even one in the "dan lain-lain" (yes, please be appalled that we have an 'other' category) and in religion...christianity, buddhism, islam, hinduism & ba'hai. We slept over at each others houses, every ones parents became an 'adoptive' parent of sort and we partook in cultural & religious celebrations. Respect and tolerance wasn't even thought about in a conscious manner, it just was.

Today, we deal with the trampling of a severed cow's head in protest at the building of a Hindu temple, the dumping of wild boar's heads at mosque compounds, attacks on churches, the outcry on the use of the word "Allah" by non-muslims, inflammatory remarks about the Jews...what have I missed?...ah yes, definitely worth a mention, an esteemed individual saying that US had faked the 9-11 attacks as a way to wage war against the Muslims. His quote, "There is strong evidence that the attacks were staged. If they can make Avatar, they can make anything." My reaction: WTF?!?

Frankly I think we've hit the bottom of the barrel with actions and talk of such, can it get any lower or dirtier? As a Malaysian living abroad, I find myself in sticky corners, as I did on monday when I attended a cocktail reception. The people I work for read all the major international newspapers as bedtime reading. So when someone asked me if they remembered correctly me saying that i was from Malaysia, I knew where the conversation was heading and my heart sank when he began his conversation with "let me first tell you that I am Jewish...."

I don't believe for one minute that the problems the country is facing is one subscribed by all. In fact i'd say its being instigated and blown out of proportion by a small group. It's the sparks from these fires which I am most concerned about, as in where it is falling and on whom. Youngsters who rightly should be concentrating on getting their education and degrees are getting caught up in the brouhaha and it's a shame. Excitement & adventure found in the wrong place? 

Sigh! 

Let's get back to the basics people, it really isn't very difficult. Let's not dance to the tunes of the piper. And seriously let's start featuring in articles for the right reasons!