So please don’t say that I didn’t warn you and then tell me how GROSS this is.
Many years ago, a rare and exotic beauty secret was revealed about how applying Preparation H Hemorrhoid Ointment on the face, could temporarily reduce the appearance of wrinkles and puffiness around the eyes.
My fascination on this 'miracle' stemmed from a conversation I'd had with a friend, Farrash. Apparently, because Preparation H shrinks rectal wrinkles, someone in their infinite wisdom figured out it could also shrink facial wrinkles.
Who knew?
But what I would like to know is who actually discovered this?
Who was the first person to go, “Gee…I think because I just finished putting this ointment on my ass, let me see if it does something for my crows feet?”
I recently read an article online claiming that supermodels swear by hemorrhoid cream to maintain taught and youthful-looking eyes.
Here’s part of the article:
The active ingredient in Preparation H phenylephrine, is believed to tighten skin by temporarily constricting blood vessels and shrinking it’s tissue. Please note: This is not recommended for those with sensitive skin, as it can irritate the gentle thin tissue around the eyes.
Well…I guess that only leaves elephants and alligators.
Ok, listen…I’m as vain as the next woman, and I am willing to try just about anything, including pasteurized bumble bee sperm to reduce the appearance of my 38 year old eye wrinkles.
But there’s no way in HELL I would put an ointment that was intended for my ass, on my face.
I mean, I like my ass…don’t get me wrong, but I like my face much more.
And never the two shall meet.
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