The Value of Friendship

I recently found myself in a predicament as to whether I should call a halt to a friendship or not. Granted it was not a 26yr old one but one which was just a little over half a year. Sure some would say, "Hey 7 mths only what, no big deal. You couldn't have formed a meaningful friendship as yet !". And in most instances I'd agree, just because as those who know me would know that I don't take things seriously and am pretty much as happy-go-lucky as they come :) Easily handled therefore you'd think...delete, block, ignore and move on...hhmmm...so why the predicament?

Sigh...in my head a bond was formed, blind trust in things which was said/told was introduced and unquestioning faith came into play. Although initially demanded, at the end freely given.

So a couple of weeks ago, I find out some things about said friend. And as the days progressed, even more was revealed. In my head, one word was hammering against the walls of my skull...liar! liar! liar!...but i decided to give him the benefit of doubt as I thought friends ought to. We had an agreement that should either of us have doubts or questions about the other, we would put forth our queries to the other. So I asked about some of those things which I had been told and the come back was that they were good stories. Doubts have now been cast further a field. It became a he said/she said situation, where I was ready to pull my already thining hair out!

Things have gotten progressively worse, other parties are now involved. I made the mistake of voicing my 2cents on some of his actions with these external parties and lo and behold it made its way back to him...what a freakin mess

I don't claim to be innocent or blame free in all this, but the intention behind my own actions were never malicious. As I mentioned, other parties are involved but somehow I get the distinct impression that he has targeted his energies on me. Two days straight of being lambasted. He knows I care for him, he knows me better than some long standing friends, he has gone behind my walls, so why does he not put this knowledge in deciphering that I would not "be out to bring him down" or "destroy him"? I'm still that happy-go-lucky, fun loving person who has no hang ups or hidden agenda. I wouldn't even know where to start...hey! this is me, the same person who has watched the furry hairballs called rabbits eat her prized ferns for the past month and not done a thing about it. All talk of rabbit stew is just that - talk!

So where am I? Angry? yes; Disappointed? yes; Sad? yes; Exhausted? very much so. Did I ask for this? I'd like to think not, but then again sometimes things workout in mysterious ways. Did my inquisitive nature get me to this point? Maybe, but does that mean I'm vindictive? Hell no! I will let you know however that I have apologised to make peace and No, I have no idea if it has been accepted :)

It's always been said that writing things down is therapeutic, and i can vouch that it sure is. I now end this piece with a light hearted quote on friendship:

"I noticed your hostility towards him...I ought to have guessed you were friends!"
- Malcolm Bradbury