Did you read the label on that??

Most things that we ingest into our body we can find out exactly what it is we're ingesting: ingredients, calories, chemicals, possible side effects, etc.

This is for our safety. For our judgement, so we can say, "Hey, I don't feel like popping that pill to get rid of a back ache and trade it in for a bleeding ass hole." or, " Hey, I don't want to feed my baby high fructose corn syrup and chemicals tested on rats, since, my baby is not a rat, yet."

We're given the proper information so that we can decide whether we want to put our bodies through the effects of things that could be harmful.

Now, it seems to me that when the "big man" was making US, you'd think the same rules would apply, no?

For instance, when it comes to matters of the heart we're not given the option of a disclaimer to make an intelligent, fact based, decision on whether giving your most valuable organ to someone is a good idea.

But, when I have a flaming headache- I can pick up a bottle of Advil and risk facial swelling, hoping it all lands in my lips rather than my eyelids.

So if I were to be created again, possible suitors would see this handy little thing- a warning label:

Often "too busy", not the best housekeeper but will give it a valiant effort, hates the missionary position, likes to travel so often that you're not always invited, sassy, short fuse, unafraid of making her opinion known, will not let you touch her feet, likes to argue, a stickler about being kept waiting,unpredictable, thinks xtreme anything is fun, competitive as all hell, challenging- most of the time, easily bored, loves babies, could kick your ass at gin rummy, will instantly make friends with your grandma, doesn't give a rats arse when it comes to ex-girlfriends, instant road rage while bickering, will tell you that you have horrible taste in film making if you enjoyed War of the Worlds.

Then of course you could find the extended version in small print somewhere on the internet. But, the warning label would give you just enough info on whether or not....I'm date worthy, whether you should ingest me into your life.

The question is, would I have chosen differently had I seen THIS warning label:

Can't get anywhere on time, lectures more than he should, nothing is ever good enough, not so adventurous, no desire to see the world, casual means single pressed slacks, wouldn't be able to kick ass in a dark alley, say's he never lies and is lying, thinks you owe him, prefers one position, secretive to a fault, makes a bee line when the going is tough, will not argue out his point, too quiet in social outings, walks with his head down, selfish, apathetic about things which does not concern him, lacks spirituality, uses guilt as a tactic, hates Sushi King, lacks loyalty, easily offended, cheater, low moral fiber, 5 minutesmax, and will ultimately break your heart.

Eh, I think I'll have a V-8.

It only makes SENSE to print these labels somewhere on our body- the side effects are far more altering subconsciously and physically. AND come on, pumping a stomach is a much easier task than mending a heart.

What are some things you wouldn't have swallowed had you known their effects??

Any warning labels you would have kept on the shelf???