Time to Forgive & To Heal

I had an interesting conversation with this lady whose story I am about to share with you (with her permission of course).

Cassey had been in a 4yr relationship with Terry.  She was happy throughout the duration.  There was much laughter and easy going comradeness between the two.  She described the relationship as one where they were together but independently.  Meaning that she could go about her travels and continue with her life pretty much as it was before they started their relationship.  Little did she realise what was going on.  In their 3rd year of being together Cassey was diagnosed as having cancer and was pretty much told that she would never be able to conceive.  Not only did she beat the cancer but she also found herself pregnant almost a year later.  Unfortunately 6mths into the pregnancy, Cassey was forced to deliver.  Her baby did not survive and neither did the relationship.  She had noticed that Terry had become distant during this time and later found out that 1. he never wanted the baby and 2. he was having an affair.

With the double blow she took extended leave

and left for adventures in a foreign country.  Thinking this would bring her some semblances of inner peace.  Little did she know that she would soon find out that the 4yrs with Terry was all based on a web of lies.  He was married and had a family based in another part of the country.  The independent living within the relationship suited him fine because that left him free to live his double life. It was a shock.  Being lied to is the one thing she could not accept.  She said that each morning she woke up to the mantra of " You're an idiot to have had him play you and make a fool of you for 4 years! How in god's name did you not see and read the signals".  Slowly she forgot but did not forgive.

18months ago Terry reappears in her life after her return.  She wants nothing to do with him but he is persistent.  Cassey cannot forget the lies and the cheating.  It burns in her.  Then 3months ago Terry disappears within the blink of an eye and once again Cassey is diagnosed as having a relapse. She knows that things are not looking good for her and has come to accept it for what it is.  At the same time, she says that although Terry has hurt and tormented her sanity, she does not want to leave without saying her goodbyes.

I asked her what she would tell him if he was to appear and sit across from her, as we were doing. This is what she had to say:

"Much has passed between us and alot of which I have held in my heart in hatred and intense dislike for you.  I will never be able to understand why you did all the things you did to me but it does not matter now. I may soon not be around and with that in mind I do not want to carry this karma with me.  I forgive you.  Keep only the fondest memories and release me.  Do well for yourself and be safe always"

The conversation ends and we sit in silence both lost in our own individual thoughts.